Thursday, 7 January 2010

Sex Ed

The days of females living out the whole pride and prejudice sexual refinement thing, are well and truly over, we all know the streets are full of women who think the fact that their lady parts are on show is some kind of warped empowerment, and we all know that’s bullshit, but there are a small collection of women who are able to combine, modern day sexual authority and feminine charms without looking like a total slut in the process. Personally I can’t understand why women who actively display their need for sexual fulfilment arises as a surprise to some people, history actually diagnosed sexual frustration as a disease that was curable only by treatments involving masturbation. True story.

You see during the mid 1800's women were treated for what physicians called "hysteria". The symptoms? Irritability, unwarranted vaginal fluids, heavy uterus and fantasies. Women were quite simply frustrated in their sexual release, all in an era when women were not seen as being sexual in any way. The treatment would you believe, was for the physician to massage his patient's clitoris until "paroxysm" was achieved. Or as is commonly referred to today, the orgasm. He would often dispense an apparatus that, although phallus shaped, was referred to as a therapeutic device. Perhaps the world would be a better place if dildos were dispensed instead of medications for anxiety.
Even before the 1800s women were finding ways to sexual relive themselves, the earliest dildo was found some 30,000 years ago somewhere in Germany and was double ended, possibly made from tar, stone or wood ( thank fuck for the boffins that invented durable materials). In many parts of the mid-east females were also fashioning their fun, this time using dried camel dung. In true blue peter style they would coat the d.i.y dildo in resin to attempt to block the smell during times of self - pleasure. Now putting aside the thought of Cleopatra getting herself off with a mouldy bit of camel shit, or Fritz Hans getting her double ended jolly’s from a rock, these examples of early sex toys are an important piece of evidence furthering the idea that females sexual needs are not a modern day occurrence.
As the toys became more prevalent in society, they were eventually seen for the sexual devices they are and began their decent to the underground world of unspoken delight. No longer the public cure for the ills of women, they did not re-emerge into the light of human sexuality until mid century again.
Today the varieties are countless and the camel dung dildo has gone the way of the physician's massage. Extinction. Now I consider myself fairly educated when it comes to sex, yet this has shown me I knew nothing when it came to the dildo, seriously the sex toy market is phenomenal; the dildo is the pick and mix of the adult world. There are harness mounted dildos, inflatable dildos, wall mounted dildos, steel dildos, even jewelled dildos, the possibilities are actually endless, I mean an inflatable dildo? Really?! I dread to imagine.
Yet it strives to prove our evolvement from the days of prehistoric pleasure or does it? I mean the double ended dildo is not something new, and even Shakespeare was using the dildo as a point of reference in his work, so why do we still feel the need to tarnish this wondrous invention as underground and slightly seedy. The dildo should be embraced for the wonder it truly is, if not as your friend as a historical sign of advanced sexuality, no one wants to have hysteria treatment brought back into play now do they, just imagine the insurance claims for massage of the clitoris due to anxiety!?





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